Driver number 1: “The maniacal lipstick car destroyer.”
Yes it is true, while driving 40 miles per hour a woman thought that applying lipstick was an appropriate project to undertake. Being in the insurance industry and knowing the damage an out of control car can do at 40mph I hit the gas to get out of the way. I was speeding sure, but I saved my car insurance company from paying a claim. Besides, she may have had more makeup to put on. So I was safely on my way. Or so I thought.

Driver number 2: “The doughnut tire racecar.”
Safely driving 65mph on the highway I noticed a fast approaching object weaving in and out of traffic in my rear view mirror. I watched the car approach in and out of traffic lanes sometimes 2 at a time. I will admit I was not paying very good attention to the cars in front of me but I was captivated by the moves this guy had. He reached me in seconds so I moved over to let the speeding vehicle pass. Upon completion of the pass I noticed the car had a spare doughnut tire on its right front side. I am fairly sure that tire did not have a speed rating of 70 to 75mph and probably was not meant to weave in and out of traffic at any speed. I saved my car insurance company again, I thought to myself, exiting the highway.

Driver number 3: “I am stuffing my face so get out of my way guy.”
The first light I came across was my lucky color red. While stopped I looked out my passenger side window to see a man gorging himself on what appeared to be some sort of breakfast sandwich. The light turned green and the face stuffer gunned it. I was now in the rear after he shifted into my lane and the thought of being behind the guy made me nervous. Mr. stuff my face made a bad move and I was able to pass him with ease. He was now safely behind me. That is when I noticed our hero drinking from a cup large enough to cover his face. Uh oh, now he is behind me. Visions of rear end collisions I had seen were a call to action. So again in an effort to save my car insurance company some coin I quickly hit the gas, weaved in and out of traffic leaving the guy in my dust.

While safely at my destination I had time to reflect on my perilous journey. It was then I realized that while attempting to save my car insurance company from incurring a loss I had become that which I despise. I myself was guilty of speeding, not paying attention to the road, and driving aggressively. I had seen the light.

Keir J Anderson
http://www.gciagents.com